I am now only 1-2 weeks away from officially retiring from my role as COO at Outreach Canada. I began working summers at my dad’s steel factory when I was 15. I worked there every summer through high school and college. I am now 73. That’s 58 years I have worked. Different roles, functions, and responsibilities. I decided to retire some months ago, and the concept of no longer having a role, function, or responsibility in the workplace is difficult to comprehend. I am in “a wilderness” of unfamiliar thoughts.
As I continue my role as a husband, dad, grandpa, friend, and mentor, among other descriptors we all share in common; I wonder - how will retirement affect these roles.
What is the Wilderness? Exodus describes how for about 400 years, Egypt used the Jews as slaves. Hating this status, under Moses, they fled into what the Bible calls “The Wilderness” where they wandered seemingly aimlessly for another 40 years. Exodus tells the story of how the people grumbled and complained, many saying they would rather go back to slavery than continue in The Wilderness. Living 40 years in the desert is not easy.
What is interesting about those 40 years is that they continued to experience the continual presence of God every day and night. Exodus 13:22 says, “The pillar of cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night did not depart from the people.” God’s presence was always with them. Who wouldn’t want that? It seems like nearly all the Jews did not.
Psalm 81 gives me insight into their wilderness experience. It reads in part, (God speaking) “I relieved your shoulder from the burden; your hands were freed from the basket. In distress, you called and I delivered you; I answered you in the secret place of thunder; I rested you in the waters of Meribah. (Meribah is where Moses struck a rock and water came out so the people had enough water to drink. Exodus 17) … I the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide and I will fill it. But my people did not listen to my voice; Israel would not submit to me.”
God was with them the whole time they were in the wilderness. I wonder, did God keep them in the wilderness for 40 years because they “did not listen to His voice”? Am I listening to His voice now?
Shortly after Jesus was recognized as the Son of God by John the Baptist, (Mark 1:1-11) the Spirit of God took him into the wilderness where Jesus was tempted for 40 days, including fasting. Luke 4 reminds us that when Jesus was led into the wilderness he was “full of the Holy Spirit”. In the same way that God was with the Jews in the wilderness, God was also with Jesus. Unlike the Jews, Jesus listened to God’s voice.
Other men in the Bible struggled with their own wilderness experiences. The prophet Elijah in 1 Kings 19, and Paul in Galatians 1, had wilderness experiences. The Book of Job is about a wilderness experience. The question I am asking is, were these negative or positive experiences? Why is it when Jesus needed to get away from the crowds, even from his disciples, that He often left and went into the wilderness? The fact is all humans face times of uncertainty we call wilderness experiences. I seem to be in one as I contemplate retirement.
I believe those were times when Jesus, needed to listen to the voice of God. In the wilderness, we experience God in unique and wonderful ways. I have fortunately experienced God’s voice in the wilderness (a physical one) in wonderful ways. Let me explain. I was raised in the deserts of Arizona. I joined a Boy Scout troop in Tempe when I was about 10 and remained with them until I started high school. We were very active with camping in the desert. This meant spending at least one or two days and nights, once a month, sometimes twice a month in the desert where we learned about the desert. We learned camping and survival skills, I became very self-sufficient in the deserts and mountains of central Arizona. We would explore new areas, sometimes getting a bit lost and then finding our way back to safety. Those were important times in my life. I had then, and still crave getting away from routines and experiencing God’s creation.
Beneficial to me wasn’t just learning the skills. I had a mentor Scout leader named Jim who was constantly opening my eyes to the glorious creation of God. We rarely slept in tents. (It’s Arizona) I had an old-school, rectangular cotton sleeping bag and a tarp to keep off the morning dew. We slept under the canopy of stars, the Milky Way, shooting meteors. I learned to be quiet and to listen to God’s voice. I believe Jesus got away by himself for the same reason. To purposely and deliberately listen to God’s voice. This has been my wilderness experience. A positive experience, not a negative one.
Growing up, I had some difficult times with testing. I think most are typical for young people. Dating, love, sex, drug usage, popularity, being a true friend – this list is without end. Lots of failures and regrets. The Bible addresses these issues and labels which ones are sins and which ones are just life decisions. Because I had a family who cared and a mentor who helped me discover how to listen to God’s voice, I think I was able to process these issues more effectively. Over time I became increasingly aware that I did not need to physically go to the desert wilderness (though I love doing so) to listen for God’s voice; I just needed to engage with God, in that moment, in the same manner as I learned to do in my youth.
I have read about the struggle men and women deal with as they face retirement. I have counseled many who are in this situation. For many, it opens the door to more recreation; for others, it represents a loss of purpose and meaning. There is a certain mystery in the process. Each person is unique in their perspective. Some who get very busy wonder how they ever had time to have a job; others face loneliness – most are somewhere in between.
Today, I am content. Over the years of observing the faithfulness of God in Chris’s and my lives. We have discovered the reality of trust. We moved together in small steps of faith in the direction we believed God was taking us. Perhaps each step was not the correct or best choice, but we found each step moved us closer to each other and God. We have learned to trust in His love and direction for our decisions and choices.
As I reflect on retirement, I realize I am once again in the wilderness. Like I learned as a boy wandering in the desert, there are different paths to find my way out. God has equipped me to listen to his sometimes very quiet voice leading to the next path, toward the next place he wants me to go. I am at peace because I have learned to trust that God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are with Chris and me (because we have become united by love) on whatever path we end up on.
Stuff happens in “the wilderness”. Plans change, disappointments are experienced and new directions are discovered. (Who thought two desert rats would be called to serve people in Canada?) But God is in the details making our experiences significant and where trust is gained.
God is always present in your life, even in “the wilderness”.